Your lover gaslights you? Are they dismissive or say you're overreacting?
Do you avoid serious conversations with them since you know they'll just joke?
Are you mentally drained after communicating with them?
They may be shy or inarticulate.
Your partner should always try to talk to you and be interested in your feelings.
They don't respect you or your voice if they talk over you, interrupt you, don't listen (or only listen to answer), or reject anything you say
They shouldn't make you think your ideas are stupid.
People struggle to express their emotions. Avoidant attachment is widespread but unhealth
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